funky doo

This week, I will mostly....

be hanging out with my daughter and working in the quiet moments (and evenings, and early mornings!) It's amazing how you can work your 37 hours around times when no-one else is awake!!

 

I've blogged over at www.funkydoofamily.blogspot.com about some of what we've been up to for fun this weekend...take a look!

Andy has some cycling trips planned this week: a full day today up Colchester way and an overnighter on Wednesday to Lowestoft. 

So, I'm working around Matilda and I have arranged a few playdates for her so I can get my teeth into a couple of other 'start of term' projects that require less distraction!

As well as just being at home, playing and chilling and doing crafts and watching TV, we're going to make the most of our Barleylands season ticket on Thursday and towards the end of the week, doing some baking for my dad's 60th this weekend.

I'm feeling pretty on top of things work-wise having had some good stints in the office last week, although I had a few 'desirable' projects like collating my Youthwork magazine back-catalogue so I could find things a bit easier - but that might not happen!

I also have a new boss, as Basildon Deanery, which is half of my job, has a new Area Dean. So one of my afternoons this week will be spent with Margaret who I know well already. It will be good to chat and pray and set some priorities for the start of the new academic year.

So, that's my week - what about you?? How's it looking? Any exciting things happening? Work or fun - or both??

 

 
 

how to plant a church

After my visit to Pilgrimage in early June, I have been thinking a lot about church/Jesus planting, particularly through a small group (in Order of Mission/LifeShapes language this is a Huddle).

One of the other delegates from the conference, who I referenced in some of my other posts has recently added to his blog with this post about How to Plant a Church. It brings together, in a really practical way some of my own wondering and thoughts about 'how do we do this?' 

All this thinking goes on in the midst of Andy's continuing exploration of ordained ministry in the Anglican Church - we had an important meeting as a family yesterday - as well as in the crazy humour of the new Rev sit com on BBC2 which premiered last night! A series of crazy contrasts...and yet the call to the church, in it's variety remains. 

 

a reminder from a previous post...simplicity and uncertainty

 I re-read this post tonight while I was looking for a link to something else and just want to post it here as a reminder that God knows what He's doing in our lives.

Lots has happened since that post - not least our recent bereavement through miscarriage and the move of churches and progressing ordination for Andy in a very real.

But I still feel the same sense of security in what I wrote in the paragraph headed This is what I know. And I want to hold onto the sense of mystery and uncertainty - and yet real simplicity - that is paramount in our understanding of what God gets up to in our lives. Part of me is glad that this only makes sense with God involved...otherwise I don't know what I'd do!

A bit of a stream of conciousness but I feel affirmed that in an ever changing world and with our ever changing circumstances of the last few months - some things remain certain and God's call is one of those things.

 

 

LCGC and Street Pastors in one episode!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00ry9v4/The_One_Show_05_04_2010/ click here for brilliant performances from LCGC throughout as well as a profile on Street Pastors in Derby (my husband is one in Chelmsford) from about 37 minutes.

Great profiling of Christians doing their stuff out there in the world...

 

Everything we do in church is weird

Check out this post with the above title http://clayboy.co.uk/2010/01/everything-we-do-in-church-is-weird/ which is such a true picture of how random some of our 'traditions' are - when we truly look at how others might view them!

There are some things at our new church that I have never seen done before in an Anglican church - and I've been in few of them! So we're waiting to find out what some of those traditions mean and generally feeling a bit as though we're still observing rather than experiencing or engaging...there's still time!

Clayboy has recently begun a new blog particularly looking at liturgy and worship (http://worshipandliturgy.blogspot.com/2010/01/good-worship.html) and his reflections in his main blog above, coupled with this new specific blog really make me think, wonder and laugh out loud.

We have been at our 'new' church now for 3 weeks - one before Christmas and 2 Sundays in 2010 and we're beginning to get the hang of it! We've got the Vicar and his wife coming round for dinner in February (oh, what to cook?!) and there have been some suggested involvements in baptism prep, marriage prep and evening services which we're praying and thinking about. It's against my usual inclination to get involved in activities in a new church so quickly, but it's important for Andy in his discernment process that he is exploring and working alongside the ministry team so that they can also discern his calling for the priesthood. Obviously, it would look a bit rubbish if he did marriage preparation on his own, so I'll be with him for that!

This week feels like the first week of term again - last week was weird! The snow just cripples everything and although I didn't get a 'snow day' as such with working from home, it was still a week of cancellations and different priorities. Nice to have a day of sorting and preparing today before some youthwork supervision tomorrow and Solid ReMix Labyrinth on Friday - I feel strangely ready for anything! Long may it last!

Christmas shoplifting

Our good friend and mentor, Fr Tim Jones, who was a priest in York Diocese when Andy and I were youthworkers in Scarborough, has stepped into the public domain with a 'rallying call' sermon about the neglect of the poor and needy this Christmas time.

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/4813866.Full_transcript_of_the_sermon_given_by_Father_Tim_Jones/

The full transcript of his sermon as preached on Sunday 20th December can be seen from the link above - and I suggest you read this in full before contemplating reading any of the online or paper based media, and draw your own conclusions about what he really said.

This whole sermon is based around a personal story - which has been sadly and conveniently forgotten in the furore of a Vicar (bloody hell, a Vicar saying something controversial, whatever next) 'encouraging' people to shoplift. What utter rubbish our media portrays and what shoddy journalism.

The least and the lost seem to be forgotten at this time of year as we all retreat into our homes and feed ourselves and our friends with food we are privileged to buy and spend fun times with people who love us and want to be with us. Tim's challenge for us to consider and include the least and the lost and to reform the system which prevents them from accessing even the most basic necessities is exactly the sort of thing we Christians should be speaking out about - because it's exactly what Jesus did.

Shame on you York Diocese for distancing yourself from one of your most prophetic priests...think hard now before you accidentally find yourself rejecting and distancing yourself from the key gospel message for the sake of political correctness.

This is Tim and Andy last Easter when we visited Tim and his family in York. It was Tim who first challenged Andy about his ordination path - and it is Tim who found himself in the papers last May for challenging the branding and product placement of Playboy merchandise. He is a man who is not afraid to challenge and question and stand up for injustice and I for one am proud to call him my friend.

The Con of Christmas...hear me out!!

This post will also appear on the family blog here.

This has been a post in formation for weeks and I was never sure I felt brave enough to write it in a real way for people to see...but Bishop Nick Baines has got in before and dealt with the stick over the weekend...so I feel a bit like I'm jumping on the bandwagon - but hey, we all do that in the world of blogging!

So, check out Nick's post here Grumpy Bishop. He's recently published a book which I'll say now, just like all the media who have entered the scrum of interviewing him, I haven't read yet. But based on this post, he is from the same stable as me - if you'll excuse the pun! (Cos it was probably a cave!!)

My problem with Christmas (I love it really, don't get too worried!!) came with the arrival of M 3 years ago - her first Christmas didn't really matter as she was only 10 days old. But come her first birthday, followed rapidly by Christmas Day, it was very difficult not to get caught up in the assumption that Father Christmas would be visiting our house in the dead of night and delivering presents.

I love the idea and the legends of Father Christmas and the root of it's story in St Nicholas who was a 3rd century miracle worker, renowned for secret gift giving and whose feast day is this Sunday. But I have a problem with the commonly held assumption that Santa (who is a character developed by cartoonist Thomas Nash in 19th century America and then taken on by mighty Coca Cola), who in contrast to St Nicholas is a jolly, red faced, red suited old man living in the North Pole, are one and the same.

The titles Father Christmas and Santa Claus seem to be interchangeable - indeed in the North East where we used to live, Santa is often Santee (try it with a Geordie accent!!)

But the roots of these characters - fictional, historical, the stuff of legend, whatever - are very different and portray different aspects of the Gospel and the Christmas story. Whilst I am not going to go down the extreme line of saying the whole thing is a lie and Father Christmas can't possibly visit every house in the world in one night etc., I am going to make sure that the traditions we have and the story we tell is faithful whilst also being magical and not ultimately confusing to a 6/7/8 year old in years to come.

Ultimately - I want M to understand that she receives gifts, not because she has been a good girl, but because we love her and because we want to celebrate the wondrous story of Jesus' birth and his life given out for her and for us. It always has everything to do with GRACE - and giving gifts is not because we are good, but in fact the opposite - but we are LOVED, by God and by one another and so we can bless one another...that is our call as disciples.

I HATE it when people ask small children whether they have been good this year and if Santa is going to come - of course they haven't been good...they are small children!! But in our house, M will get a small stocking of presents, outside her door, from us to open in bed and Father Christmas will have visited the house overnight - drinking a bit of something, scoffing a mince pie and maybe leaving some gold coins as the original St Nicholas is said to have done. All her other presents will come from us - real people who love her and know her and want to be part of the pleasure of giving gifts as she is in the giving of gifts to others.

 

Ok, so that's the Santa bit done...

Now a quote from Nick Baine's blog, referenced above: Now, some commentators say that Christmas is about sentiment (feeling), nostalgia and ‘magic’. They say that simple carols are great for children to begin to learn the story. Absolutely right. But the people arguing this are not children, but adults who want to stay as children when it comes to matters of God and faith and so on. Think like a child when you are a child, but, for goodness’ sake, grow up when you are an adult.

 

I find it ironic that for the rest of the year, a majority of our population want nothing to do with Christian tradition in any way but suddenly at Christmas they become hugely defensive of anything being different or changing or being criticised. The depth of understanding of what Christmas and this huge celebration are really all about is missing - and I see 2 reactions as I go about my work and experience life.

Some churches and Christians do nothing to celebrate Christmas...no carols or Christmas services or trees or anything which is vaguely pagan or rooted in tradition - everything just carries on as normal until the BIG DAY. Missing out Advent, in my opinion is the real shame here...but that's another issue! 

On the other extreme, there are many churches and Christians who do everything traditionally and don't question 'why' or whether it's helpful. I remember one of my first parish posts and the whole of December being taken up with either visiting or hosting Carol Sevices or nativity plays - by schools, Townswomen's Guild (yes seriously!), nurseries etc. You did want to tear your hair out by the end and it had slightly lost it's magic in the repetition.

 

My reaction is to try and do something in the middle - I love Christmas carols but hate Away in a Manger and the 'How silently' verse of O Little Town of Bethlehem. Mary was NOT silent in labour, OK!

We'll be having a tree even though it stems from pagan tradition...(!)because it forms a focal point in our home for Christmas celebrations and it is a precious family occasion to buy the tree and decorate it. We will feed people, host people, visit with people - mainly those we know or are related to, although when M is older we endeavour to be spending time with those who don't have the advantages of Christmas traditions and family that we are blessed with.

 

The difficulty of taking an extreme reaction to Christmas traditions and popular culture is that you get bah humbuged by everyone else...which is difficult to take, in what is supposed to be a season of goodwill after all!! But if we Christians can't communicate seriously the true meaning of Christmas, then how can we expect those who only take part in the traditions once a year to really know what we're all about??

+Nick continues: The ‘magic’ of Christmas is fine – up to a point. But ask any clergy and they will tell you about the ways in which Christmas is hard for many people and how the ‘magic’ makes it harder. It is for them that the reality of Christmas hits home: that God has not remained a million miles above contradiction, but opted in to the muck and messiness of the world and meets us where we are – in the vulnerability of the baby in Bethlehem. To tell that story is not to be miserable – but the opposite.

I am just not prepared to encourage people to live in a fantasy world, but doing my job as a Christian bishop in calling people back to the original story. Grasp it – and then celebrate hard and fully. I’ll be belting out the carols and watching the nativity plays along with the rest of them. But I will also be living in the real world and engaging my brain.

+Nick - I'm with you. I'll be doing mobile carolling on 20th December, going into London and experiencing the Christmas lights and soaking up the excitement. I'll be making mince pies and sausage rolls and wrapping presents and sneaking about on Christmas Eve, stopping Andy from squeezing presents and we'll probably be eating and drinking too much. But I hope in the midst of all that, I'll be reminded of why we get to celebrate this amazing event - because it changed the world, it changed my world and I want it to change the world of my daughter and her friends and our families and our community because we tell it how it really is...if you take the 'text' out of 'context' - what are you left with??

Comments awaited!!

labyrinth and worship wonderings

Mark Berry (way out west) has a really useful blog with all sorts of reflections and resources and thinking about worship in all it's forms as well as stuff about his pioneer role in Telford. Click on 'worship/prayer' in his cloud to get the full selection.

In the midst of toddler vomiting episodes, car servicing appointments and guests departing from a weekend of birthday celebrations, I have been starting to pin down the thinking and piecemeal preparation I had already done for the Labyrinth in St Alban's on Friday night.

The link above to Mark's blog is to his section of worship and prayer resources and a particular piece that has helped my thinking is titled 'Bored with Worship'. As we start to put together the elements for this Labyrinth and the stations to fit around the theme of 'Darkness into Light' - we're really concious of this being an indigenous and organic process for the people who come and share in it with us. We provide some prompts, some words, some ideas, and leave them to connect them in their own way. We want to enhance the journey, provide a stake in the ground as a point to say 'what am I doing here and what is God doing?', but worship, youth work and faith has to be non-directive...so we go with the flow! Hard for me who likes to have a plan!

It's going to be a different event altogether from the SolidReMix event in January in Chelmsford Cathedral. For a start, we have a much bigger and seperate space, but that means we need to fill it appropriately!!

Here are some pics of the January event:

Holy Space - rest in the centre, BE and take some bread for the journey.

The prayer/reflection wall on the way out - leave an encouraging word for those who follow you or thank God for something he has shown you. Pretty full as you can see!

Seeing yourself as God sees you - created in love and fearfully and wonderfully made. Self portraits...
 
 Some of these elements will be appearing at the St Alban's event, but there will be some new things too, some stolen and others totally original (!) - so we'll post photos next weekend when we've caught up on some sleep!
 

funky doo family

We've decided to start a 'family blog' over at www.funkydoofamily.blogspot.com to try and seperate out the personal from the other stuff...so expect to see more pictures, M's artwork, funny stories and some of our family, friends and other randoms mentioned - see if you can see yourself??!!

Also, as we embark on an interesting and slightly scary journey in the coming months and years, having this joint blog will allow Andy to do some writing and thinking of his own in the blogosphere.

So come join us and see what you reckon...comments as always most welcome!!

simplicity and uncertainty

 A new Monday morning dawns and I seem to have fallen into a pattern of Mondays being an office/admin day. (well, it's worked the last few weeks, but a quick look at the diary shows it's the last for a while!) It works quite well as I get ahead of myself and the rest of the week seems to pan out better, notwithstanding the unexpected stuff of life with a toddler and in youth ministry!

I'm especially appreciating the space today as I get back to the nitty gritty after quite a grotty weekend.

Recent posts make no bones of the fact that, as a family and as individuals within that, we are in a bit of a state of flux. The history of all that goes back a long long way...around the time that Andy and I first met and he had returned to faith. Questions about our role in church leadership and which of us might be called to priesthood, ordination, church planting etc etc have always been around. They would at various times return to our present thinking for us to question and then would return to the back of our minds.

Our move down to Essex in 2006 was a response to a heightened sense that God was doing something new and different at that time - He certainly was as M came along pretty smartish after that! Her arrival and the move and the newness of jobs, church and location have all allowed us more space to say 'what now?'

In recent years, our understanding of our calling, as individuals and as a family has been in a certain language - church leadership, youth ministry, leadership development, mentoring....and along with our visit to the States in 2008 and my time at Pilgrimage and being immersed in LifeShapes stuff and The Order of Mission, we have had a lot to think about and process.

I'm always a bit sceptical when things that seem painful have a happy ending - they always seem to in other people! However, I can testify that out of the pain of my back injury in June, something became very clear. We were enjoying a weekend as a family as I was off work and we went for a (slow!) walk one Saturday before coming home for M to nap. During the nap time, I was leafing through youthwork magazine and was struck by a job vacancy which leapt out of the page at me...

The conversation that ensued involved us realising that we somehow needed to make space for Andy to explore the possibilities of ordination and the priesthood, specifically within the Anglican Church. He was first told/asked to consider that journey when he was 19 and at Oasis Youth Ministry in Manchester. It's been asked again more recently and become a more regular conversation (with others, rather than amongst the two of us) and we've always greeted it with a hmmm...But this was a realisation in both of us and this particular job provided a possible route, giving space as well as a return to an Anglican Church to gain immersion in that culture and the structural support that would be required.

With all that zooming round our heads, and the closing date for the job not until mid September, we plunged into our busy summer and talked about everything that was happening during car journeys and whilst trying to sleep at Soul Survivor! We put a number of fleeces out - and through those, God made it clear to apply for the job. Despite this, at one point I told Andy I couldn't go ahead, I loved my job too much and we needed to take things slower...but he and others rightly reminded me that the job had leapt out at us for a reason, and we needed to allow due process to happen. So I did apply, with some trepidation and reluctance but a huge amount of excitement and a sense of the possibilities opening up to us.

I've never been in that position - applying for a job when I didn't need a job or from having a job that I loved. It was a strange experience. My current job is one which has moulded around me, where I have found a niche and I see that God is using me to be effective in the local church. Although hugely challenging a lot of the time, it resonates with so much of where I know God wants to use me. As a family it works for us, it fulfills my need for people contact (although not always enough face to face youth work sometimes!)but I also have to be very self disciplined in how I work and managing my time effectively and spiritually.

I spent a long time over the application. By the end of it, I was fed up with the 'selling of myself' that such a process requires and I was glad to be done with it! Most of the time, I felt totally crippled with self doubt, could I do this if I got it, how would I cope with a job with such responsibility and the pressure of what the job might allow Andy to do as a result did feel like a big weight. Overall, it was all a hugely painful process - the thought of the implications of moving again (it is not a local job), the upheaval that would cause, the starting over (I had a stupid dream about there not being any hairdressers in the new place and my barnet getting out of control!!) and there were people that we wanted to make aware of this possible next move and whom we have hurt just in the telling. Despite the excitement and what this opportunity might all bring, we felt pretty crap.

And so we waited....and on Saturday, I got a letter to say that I hadn't been shortlisted.

Andy was in Brighton on the bike ride...so I stewed and ranted and cried a bit by myself. I talked to a few people...the general response was confusion, sympathy, surprise and sadness with a big fat dose of relief...one lovely person told me I'd always be top of their shortlist! A part of me was glad that I didn't get shortlisted - the door has been firmly closed and locked and there is no wondering about 'could I have done better' as there might have been with an interview.

And today, I sit here in my office, sorting out the mundane and pushing paper around, doing some emails and prep for training and I wonder...what is God doing? He's doing something, that's for sure and I'm running into that, cos He is my strong tower and my hiding place.

This is what we know: we know Andy is called to the priesthood, but we don't know how or in what 'way'. We know we want to respond to God's call, for Andy specifically at this time but for our family overall. We know for that to take place, we need to be back in an Anglican Church to allow that process to happen. We know we need to honour the process of selection that is required and we want to do that well while exiting and leaving behind other things in a godly and sensitive way. We know God has it in hand and we know He loves us. We know that this has been His call on Andy's life since he was 19. And we know God has never let us down and won't this time.

These are the simple facts - we share with you what we know...and we wait for God to make the next step clear. It's OK, because He is in control. I have no idea whether applying for THAT job was the wrong decision or whether we just needed to go through that process to make the priesthood path clearer. Who knows...but I'm glad we're not going anywhere for a while!

Andy's is the pink bum ;-)