funky doo

Fort Hood

It's been a troubling week in the news with the Fort Hood massacre and the shooting of British soldiers by one of the mentees in Afghanistan.

I was reading some reflections on the Fort Hood tragedy and was taken with this comment from Brian McLaren

I hope every reader of this blog will respond to the Fort Hood shootings (and every act of religious bigotry, racial intolerance, sexual stereotyping and prejudice, unequal treatment of gay folks, etc.) by rededicating themselves to follow the example of Jesus: move toward "the other" with love and respect. Don't fear, avoid, dehumanize, stigmatize, or allow bigoted statements to go unchallenged, but instead, have a cup of tea, take a walk, exchange dinner invitations, hear their stories, and treat "the other" as you would be treated. Learn to see "the other" as your neighbor, and respond as Christ taught.

Couldn't have said it better myself...praying, praying, praying above all else.

Evening Services at All Saints Maldon

Our friend Alex from Falcon Camp has been piloting a new format monthly evening service last term at All Saints in Maldon, which is continuing this term. My hubby was involved in helping with the sound etc and preached on one occasion.

The publicity and such info appear below - so please do spread the word, give it a go and let us have some feedback on here as Alex is a regular reader...!

what's new??

Silence has descended here on funky doo for a wee while because - well, I haven't felt too funky!!

2 weeks ago tomorrow, I managed to injure my back and have been struggling with mobility, pain and general frustration ever since. Without going into all the horrendous details, the main trigger was just pure and simple parenting...putting M into her buggy at the park, twisting and bending at the same time to sling her shoes into the basket at the bottom and.....owwww!

I laid out for a couple of days, had the doctor over when it wouldn't go away, got some Valium (which was nice and soothing!) and thought it would all go away in a couple of days....ha ha ha ha!

I just got back driving today, 13 days later. I have had to cancel a lot of work commitments because I couldn't get there or even if I could, I wouldn't have been able to set up/speak/present/stand to do what I had to do...I never cancel, well not for something like this where I am perfectly well apart from being unable to get up or sit down!

In my time at home, I have been trying to do useful things, which aren't the usual every day things like hoovering and dishwasher-undoing!! That was impossible...but I have been making a claim for my stolen bag a few weeks ago now, getting ahead on some Falcon Camp preparation, lots of admin although haven't tackled the filing tray as that would involve bending! I did get to the Bradwell Pilgrimage on Saturday (Independence Day!) which I was pleased about as I have spent the last year on the planning committee, doing the website and publicity and was coordinating the Youth Zone on the day. In the end, it was more low key than I had imagined but that was probably good for me and everyone else, as it pretty much ran itself and I could observe and heckle from the sidelines!! I was so grateful for Stuart from Bar n Bus Trust and Jamie from Legacy Rayleigh who brought along their equipment and to the brilliant youth workers and volunteers who served that day in the blazing heat!! Phil, Dave, Lucy, Donna, Megan, Shaun, Lewis, Lee and John...thanks a million!!

This week has been slightly better as I have improved each day. Tuesday was a bit of a '2 steps forward, 1 step back' as I woke up in a lot more pain having overdone it on Monday. Tuesday I had to cancel everything in my diary and felt very yucky, upping the painkillers again and feeling generally 'hemmed in' from lack of interaction and activity outside the house. Yesterday, Wednesday, I went out to Suffolk (with AP as my chauffeur!) to the Eastern Region of Diocesan Youth Officer's meeting and lunch, which was very nice. I didn't feel too uncomfortable sitting in the car or at the table so that was an achievement and it was good to catch up with everyone and ease myself back in a little. A wide ranging conversation at Elveden Estate (yummy Chicken Ceaser Salad!) included issues around participation, the new Youth and Children's National Strategy, the Church of England Youth Council and a round up of what is going on in each Diocese and a chance to pray for one another.

So today, I finally feel almost pain free, just needing a couple of Nurofen at lunch time. I feel blessed in many ways to have been forced to slow down. God has his ways of making us hear him when all we seem to be doing is just 'getting on with it'. (Those Kairos moments - LifeShapes Circle! I'm learning!) I hadn't really stopped since half term and looking back at my diary, I had only had 1 weekend off since February, apart from the weekends we were travelling to our holiday. I was initially so frustrated that a weekend off had turned into a weekend of pain and being stuck in bed, but once I accepted it, I have enjoyed some solitude and silence, time on my own which I am not always good at, a chance to read and particularly to continue my reflections on my time in Sheffield, on the LifeShapes and The Order of Mission (TOM). I have been writing some posts on all this and keep thinking they are about ready to publish, but they are not quite!! Watch this space.

Other highlights of the last few weeks have been Andy's cooking of which there has been a lot more (lovely fresh stir fry's and flavoursome marinated meats!!), speaking to lovely Emily King on the phone in Tennessee (who also directed me to this website). We miss them both heaps and hope to see them again in 2011 sometime...that's the plan! Also a very funny night with our Giraffe group on Sunday involving cometitive Jenga competitions and a domino rally too!

As well as that, Hubby and I have had more time to talk, we haven't had to schedule 'money evenings' or date nights as normal because I've been here more and that has been really nice. We will be making sure that when we're at Soul Survivor B in a few weeks time that we are disciplined about having our mornings together when M is at her kids group...praying, talking, chatting over a cuppa and going to teaching. We have a lot to process at the mo - not just the TOM stuff but also planning ahead for youth in the autumn term and dreaming and scheming!

So, I'll sign off for now and go and get my daughter from her childminder - a small thing, but I haven't done that for nearly 3 weeks and it's such a precious thing...seeing her excitement at telling me what she has done at Kiko's and talking and singing on the way home.

Have a great evening! xx

it's feeling like a good day!

Hey! how y'all doing? Good I hope and happy Tuesday!

It's Tuesday night and I'm enjoying a night in and enjoying listening to my husband laughing a lot at our latest Love Film delivery - Young Frankenstein - his choice not mine! I'm waiting til The Other Boleyn Girl gets to the top of our list! He's enjoying it and that's why I bought him the subscription so that makes me happy!

I had my meeting with Bish Laurie and Peter Collins from Traidcraft today...which i think was helpful on both sides. Peter reflected afterwards that although the message about encouraging preference towards Traidcraft in this credit crunch was not realistic, he now had other ideas about how to support the furtherance of the development agenda that is a key distinctive of Traidcraft's work (in contrast to other supermarkets, who sell Fairtrade but don't invest in development and bringing producers out of poverty). The only down side was that my other colleague, Paul the Faith in Action Adviser for the Area forgot to come...I blame nappy brain as he has just added to his family with the arrival of twins to add to his other 3 children who are 7 and under!!

I dropped Peter off in Chelmsford to kill some time while I went to my next meeting which was the inaugral gathering of my new support group. This is a different way of organising my supervision and accountability in this role and it was very affirming and encouraging. I'm grateful to those who agreed to be part of this process of reflection and hope it will firm up all I'm trying to do in this role and help me think strategically in terms of it's future sustainability.

A lovely bonus today was that Matilda and Andy came home early from school/childminder's and so while Andy took Peter to the airport, I had the latter part of the afternoon with my lovely daughter. She was in fine form, language and sentences forming at a rate of knots and her sense of humour really developing too! She's now in a big girls' bed and her favourite word to describe it whenever she gets in is 'cosy'!

I also got to speak to my lovely friend Jenny (a different one from the previous post!) who is also Matilda's godmother, just to confuse things even more...maybe we'll have a Jennifer next to make things totally off the wall!! Anyway, Jenny has been in hospital recently with appendicitis which made her very sick and poorly, so she's just recovering and getting back into things.

So, I'm off for an early night cos I can't watch the CSI Vegas while Andy's got his film on!! nighty nighty (pyjama pyjama!) x

having a plan and making it happen

I like a format of regular posts that give an overview of someone's life - seeing the patterns and the regular stuff that happens, the struggles, the lists they have...ysmarko is one of the best and most interesting.

So as a goal for 2009, I'm going to start with a pattern of a weekly (minimum!) post with the same headers and see what patterns come out and give some reflection on the life I lead - interesting and reflective for me and hopefully for you too!

I'm gonna start with the questions that Marko uses, but will probably add my own and see how it develops as we go forward...

the weekend that was: Friday we said good bye to my parents who had been staying with us to celebrate New Year. We had taken the tree down in preparation for an Open House on Friday afternoon, with various church, work and others expected! 3pm rolls round and no one arrives. Andy has a snooze along with the mulled cider he had made...and still no one. matilda was beginning to wonder what all the frantic cleaning and cooking for actually for! Then, 5.30pm, the door goes and the beginning of the swarm came through the front doo, to eat our left overs and toast 2009! Our friend Shaun stayed over since his wife was on nights and she arrived on Saturday morning, fresh from her shift with bacon and rolls ready to cook!! Saturday passed in a bit of a blur until Andy went out for his Street Pastor shift and I tidied up and went to bed. Left Andy in bed on Sunday morning (it had been a quiet night in Chelsmford, but he still didn't get in til 3am) and went to church. Afternoon was spent eating ham broth (yum) reading the paper, doing some preparation for Giraffe (our 15+ youth group) and then welcoming Giraffe at 7,30pm! We looked at goals for our life and how do we measure those against God's goals for us...with a segue into swearing and how we use our money, especially if we are lucky enough to have any. Ended the night talking to my sister in law about booking a short break in the Easter holidays in the Peak District with her, Andy's brother and our neice.

where i am at the moment: in the office, with the fan heater on. It's snowing in Maldon and I also need the heater to dry out my mobile (personal one) which I dropped in a mug of tea earlier!!

on my to-do list this week: clearing the desk, planning for Labyrinth I am doing at the SOLID re:mix event next Saturday (17th), expenses claim and sorting out Equipping bookings that have flooded in over Christmas. As well as that, looking ahead to our Youth Workers residential 21-22 January on the subject of Young People, Sexuality and Spirituality - at St Marks in Saffron Walden. I'm not teaching but it's a lot to organise still!!

procrastinating about: most things...like walking through treacle today! It's nice to have a lcear diary day at the beginning of a new term to get things done, but I'm much better under pressure...so roll on 2 days of meetings tomorrow and Wednesday!!

ho ho hootenanny!

hi! it's been a while but Christmas is my excuse!! I am sitting here, at home, alone while Andy is out and aboutwith Matilda at the sales and doing a few other jobs. I am peopled out! This season seems to have gone on for a long while - beginning with Matilda's 2nd birthday back in the wilds of December and continuing with visits to Surrey, flights to Newcastle, then Durham, Washington and back home again. We then had people for dinner every night between Sunday and last night(Friday)...phew! We did manage to get rid of most of the 'bad' food yesterday at our OPen House which makes today a start the diet day...

Enough of that! The new year of work now beckons and it's starting to loom large. I have plans, big plans, to change lots of things, do things better and differently and be more efficient. I could share them with you here...but I haven't quite formulated it all yet...I have cleared my white board tho, so that's a start!

I was instant chatting on Facebook with my friend Phil, a student pastor out in the States and he has just started a new blog www.youthworktalk.com. He's keen to hear feedback and to interact with readers, so do take a look and join the conversation!

That's all for now - I am going to make the most of my alone time and do something different that computering...so Happy New Year and talk soon!

The Christmas letter...

The Smiths Christmas catch up!

Merry Christmas from the 3 of us to all of you!

As we write, we’re getting ready to celebrate Matilda’s 2^nd birthday on Sunday…amazing how time has flown! We’ll be doing our first kid’s party (as parents!) on Friday 12^th with just a few friends from church and playgroup and then spending her actual birthday on 14^th as a family, going out for lunch and getting our Christmas tree! In contrast to last year, Matilda is more aware of all the preparations for Christmas, and especially enjoys lighting the Advent candle and finding the chocolate coin each day in her Advent Calendar with pockets!

We will be up in Northumberland this Christmas with Andy’s parents, brother, sister in law and our niece Ellie as well as Andy’s grandparents and other Smith relatives. Jacki and Gordon moved from Scarborough

to Bedlington in the summer and so we will be flying up from Stansted, eradicating the five or six hour journey with a fidgety toddler! Before flying up, we’ll have a weekend with Alice’s parents, sister and brother in law in Surrey, doing a combined Christmas and birthday celebration.

Work continues to go well for both of us – Andy has now been in the local secondary school in Maldon for over a year and has developed the Inclusion Unit to be a place where young people in the school are making progress with their issues, including anger management, behaviour concerns and self esteem improvement.

Alice’s job proves continually busy with lots of training, church consultations and Diocesan work in promoting and encouraging good youth work across

Essex. 2009 will be an interesting year as we wait to see who will replace Bishop John Gladwin when he retires in August.

While we work, Matilda has 3 days with Yoriko, our fabulous childminder and quite a few other pre-schoolers! She loves her time there, with great activities including music, craft, dress up, and general craziness and playing with the other kids. She is shattered by the time Thursday comes round and has 2 naps to catch up on her sleep! Her vocabulary develops every day – her favourite words at the moment being “finished”, “juice” and “please” with various other indistinguishables! We’re discovering how much she loves music as she spends much of her time singing her version of ‘Twinkle Twinkle little star’, even in bed in the mornings before we go and get her up!

Alice turned the big 3-0 this year and celebrated with a fantastic weekend in Rye in East Sussex, with her parents, sister and brother in law (plus Andy and Matilda of course!!) We chilled out, ate lots, went to the beach, poked around the lovely antique shops and pubs and enjoyed one another’s company.

Alice also finally got a ring on her finger – an engagement one that is! 6 years late, Andy presented her with a beautiful diamond engagement ring which she had never had before…partly because of cost but also because of indecision. It was a fantastic surprise!

Holidays: Our travels have been wide and far this year – as usual! Over the Easter holidays, we took a road trip with the Collins’ family (Baggy, Natalie and the kids) up North, visiting Sheffield Yorkand Scarborough

in 4 days. It was great to catch up with people we hadn’t seen for a while and the kids had fun with each other in each destination!

We had a great walking holiday in May half term with our friends Jenny and Paul and their son (our godson) Jack in Ambleside. Again, great food, excellent company and beautiful scenery made it a week to remember. This was also a ‘birthday’ celebration as Paul turned 40 6 days before Alice’s 30^th so we continued to mark it in style! Andy and Jenny presented Alice and Paul with an evening at Lucy’s Cookery School, with a demonstration and tasting of some fabulous Lakeland food, picking up some hints, tips and recipes along the way as well and scoffing too!

USA after months of planning, researching and debating, our big trip finally happened this August! We flew to New York first, for a week long visit just the three of us, staying in my aunt’s home in upstate New York. We did the usual tourist haunts, Central Park, Fifth Avenue, EmpireState, Staten Island Ferry, shopping as well as chilling out in the fantastic garden at the house and enjoying the warmth! We then headed down to Tennesseefor 10 days, visiting our great friend Jack and his wife Emily. Jack is a friend from our Gateshead days who came to be a pastor in the Methodist circuit, around the time our house was flooded. He returned to the States after a year and has since moved over to the Anglican Mission and was ordained, as well as turning 30 while we were with them. We hadn’t met Emily before, but that needn’t have mattered as we all got along so well and enjoyed lots of lazy evenings over food and wine and much laughter. The 3 of us also visited the Knoxville Zoo, FallsCreekFallsNational Park, and WorldsFairParkas well as the fabulous SmokyMountains between Tennessee and North Carolina. It was difficult to leave – firm friendships and special memories made us want to stay on forever! Maybe one day…We returned to New York for a long weekend to see Alice’s family there and then returned to England, enriched, blessed and exhausted! Matilda was amazing during the travelling, sleeping on most of the flights and loving the adventures in between! A real credit to us!

We returned to a tough season in our church which continues as we write. Without too much detail, relationships are under strain and it’s a tough place to be right now. Prior to our USA

holiday we had been praying and considering taking on overall leadership of the youth ministry in church and had agreed to this in July. So September saw us launch the new Sunday night group ‘Giraffe’, and work on the depth, quality and quantity of the other ongoing youth work. We had a weekend away in November and took a big group to AltonTowersin October half term which was great fun.

Andy began Street Pastor training in November and was commissioned last Sunday to volunteer in Chelmsford. He will be out on the streets on Fridays or Saturdays, once a month, complementing the work done by police, town security and the pubs and clubs to make Chelmsford safer. Alongside this is a compassionate, service ministry of tending to people who may be vulnerable, making sure they get home safe, don’t get into violence and talking to them about their life and about faith and other stuff, that often comes up when there’s some alcohol flowing! Andy is enjoying the challenge so far and will continue the training in the New Year. www.streetpastors.org.uk

Falcon Camp has been a part of our summer schedule for many years now. This year saw us plant a new camp down in Essex, on board a converted lighthouse ship! We had 20 young people aged 10-13 on board with us, along with a fantastic team of leaders that we had gathered,  complemented by staff from the ship itself who led many of the activities. The camp is aimed at young people who face disadvantage and who may not otherwise get to have a holiday or experience these type of activities – sailing, climbing wall, archery as well as the old fashioned games, crafts, films, music and good food! It was a fantastic week, and we do it all again in July next year. Please pray for us and find out more at http://www.cpas.org.uk/ then click on Ventures and Falcon Camps and follow the links to Falcon Afloat!

Hopes for 2009 The financial situation in the world dominates the news, media and many thoughts at the moment. In our lines of work, this adds further pressure to many young people’s families and brings increased challenges. We look ahead with Hope, but with trepidation and have a sense of awe as we see how far God has brought us and the awesome things He has done. We pray for our church in this difficult time and also want you to know that you are in our prayers too. Perhaps it’s laziness to write this sort of nameless letter but we hope it enables us to share our lives a little, despite distance and the pressure of time.

Our house, as always, is open for visitors, for an hour or a few days and we’d love to see you if you’re around this way.

So ends the tome! Have a wonderful Christmas, with rest, fun and maybe some gifts too! May the New Year be all you hope for and some surprises too! With our love and many prayers…

Andy, Alice and Matilda Smith xxx

alisssmith@yahoo.co.uk

www.alisssmith.typepad.com

boredom

I'm wondering whether what I write about on here is all that interesting? I've felt a bit bored myself recently...not sure if that's a response to a busy, hectic and exciting summer and the getting back to reality...or something else...

I have had 2 terrible migraines this week which didn't feel too nice...never had one before so two was a bit of a bummer. Took Wednesday off to recuperate on my own at home which I kinda enjoyed - full of boring activities like washing, ironing and tidying piles of paper. Essential but boring and satisfying all at the same time.

Overall it's been a quiet week work wise which has given me the space to relax and try and remove any stress causing the headaches...but the pressure pumps up from now on as various training courses I am delivering start next weekend and Andy P and I are working together on some events across the Diocese. (my) Andy starts his Street Pastors training in November, which does give me some enforced time at home as we've made a decision to try not to add to Matilda's other childcare hours. Matilda and I are having fun together at the minute as he vocabularly increases each day - she also has a very dirty giggle and she laughs a lot which makes me laugh, which makes her laugh...

Tonight we have all the children's and youth work leaders from church over for an Indaba - a swahili word meaning gathering, fellowship, discussion. We want to gather this team together in our role as coordinators and feed them lovely desserts (!) and begin to develop vision and team to take the youth work forward in a fresh way. So I'm looking forward to tonight and have made a lemon and lime cheesecake and baked chocolate cake this afternoon to get the creative juices flowing a bit better!! This is an aspect of church which is feeling good at the minute - our church is going through a tough period at the minute with lots of pressure on relationships as well as growth meaning that aspects of our work and outreach are under pressure. We had a great time on Sunday night with our youth cell - Giraffe - who hosted a surprise birthday party for one of the group...house full of teenagers, food, party popper debris and silly games...real good fun!

So, even if my life seems a bit boring from the outside, or from a blog perspective - I'm quite enjoying it...the lull before the storm!

criminal justice

As I sit here tonight writing this post, I am a jumble of emotions. I have just finished watching the last episode of BBC1's 5 night series Criminal Justice that has been running all this week. The Independant and the Guardian have published mixed reviews on it, mainly around the accuracy of the behaviour of the legal team around the accused, Ben.

That I don't know about, but what I can vouch for is the damning, damaging and harrowing effect prison has on young lives. This week has caused me to think again, for the first time in a while about my time working at Aquila Way and of some of the young women who lived at Naomi Project with us. I remember going to interview one young woman, we'll call her Jo, who had been in a Young Offenders Institution for 2 years for possession of class A drugs and intent to supply. She had previously lived at Naomi Project in a different property and had asked to be referred to us again.

While in prison, she had gone cold turkey from heroin and had managed, gradually to rebuild her health and deal with her addiction through a variety of means offered in the prison. She came across as a quiet, sincere and broken young woman who wanted to give herself the best start possible. We offered her a place and upon her release we picked her up from the prison and brought her back directly to the house. We knew that if we left her to make her own way to us, previous dealers or others would get to her first.

Within 6 hours she had been out, spent her release money - apparently on clothes, fags and some food but we later found out she had purchased a mobile phone from an old 'friend' she had met in Gateshead town centre. The number she was now using had quickly been distributed to her old 'friendship' group who were quickly in touch, encouraging her to come and meet them and hang out. Within 48 hours, she had returned to the project, high on something and frantically packing her bags as she had been offered a bed in the house of her friend's boyfriend's mums' place or some similar story.

Jo was not a typical story within the project, we only had 4 women come to us directly from prison in the time I was there. BUt she was desperate not to be alone. She had specifically requested to have a shared room and was very jumpy when the house was quiet. The group of friends she connected with so quickly had a hold on her because of the environment she had experienced whilst in prison. Isolation, not knowing who to trust, feeling dependant on others all led to extreme responses to the outside world and a quick descent into heroin use again.

I don't know where she is now, but I do know that the system failed Jo. We were not allowed to protect her from those influences, we couldn't keep her captive inside the house and yet nothing had been done to prevent her descent back into her old life. Rehabilitation within the prison was a small fraction of the work done for her or with her and from other 'ex-cons' I know how corrupt and gang cultured the prison staff and prisoners alike can be. Fear rules and a safe place is something unheard of and therefore to be feared in itself.

Resurrected in me tonight is a desire to prevent young people ending up in these institutions because they are ruined when they come out...that is not a reflection on those who work with them inside, but it is a reflection of the lack of provision on the outside. The church is afraid of  this sort of work - the church generally I mean. Fearful young people and a fearful church are not a good combination. But mission is right at the core of this stuff, dealing with the needs and life of people we meet. Jesus said preach the good news and heal the sick...what is our sickness today? If the current pattern in London of teenage murders and violence continues, how are we to respond? We cannot put this down as a random series of isolated incidents.

Frontier Youth Trust and Worth Unlimited sent out a flyer today in response to their consultations on The Future of Youth Work. Without responding to these issues, there is no future to youth work. Young people are killing each other, ending up in prison and coming out as damaged, broken and shamed adults. If we do not respond to this in a practical, heartfelt way, we should not call ourselves the church, let alone Christians. What would Jesus do?

A flyer came through the door tonight- a summary of recent decisions made by the Neighbourhood Action Panel about community policing. There's a meeting on Wednesday night to agree the next set of priotities. I'm going to go and I'm continuing to pray about and work on relationships with the staff at Pavilion Cafe - I do think that place has potential for outreach and contact, a safe place. Who knows where that fits into the 'priorities'...but perhaps I can ask the questions.

Thank you, producer, director, actors etc, for a gripping, well acted and affective piece on TV. There has not been anything like it on TV for some time.

ordination and calling...

I'm failing miserably to keep this blog up to date...I know, I know.....

I keep trying to motivate myself by publishing it on work newsletters and other such gumph, but a lack of time and other such distractions (Matilda mainly) have worked against me...so here I am again, a good few weeks after my last post.

So, the happening's here? I've just finished session 4 of Equipping youth leader training, delivering 3 sessions in 1 week across the Diocese. Tiring, draining, but exhilarating all at the same time. I find delivering training a bit like cooking a big dinner - you sometimes feel like the effort you put in never quite pays off in the way it looks in the recipe book (or your imagination!) but essentially it's the people who eat/talk/train with you who make it. Without them, Andy P and I would be very lonely and bored - so thanks to anyone reading who is on the Equipping course - leave a message and say hi!

Time is ticking away towards Falcon Afloat camp in July...we had a brilliant team weekend at the beginning of June and people are, as I speak, beavering away doing various bits of prep to see the camp happen and be brilliant. Please pray for us.

In my leading of this camp and team, I have had to address again my leadership style, capability, understanding and weaknesses, calling and purposes. It's hard work and feeling responsible for so much adds the pressure. In my time with my mentor each month we've started thinking about my 'personal vision' - what I'm called to, what I want to be remembered for and the in between of how that works in practice. Rachel suggested looking into the Life Shapes material published by St Thomas' Sheffield, Mike Breen et al. I've come across this in a few different ways as Andy P is part of The Order of Mission and has used Life Shapes with Kairos Community (his gathering of youth workers in the Barking Area)...and had recommended it to me as he starts trying to get me to think about 'priesthood' in my life...

Andy P gets ordained next Sunday as Deacon with licence to develop a fresh expression of church amongst young adults in Havering atte Bower. I've mixed feelings about it - not for him, but for me. Doesn't that sound selfish? From next week, all my immediate colleagues will be not only male, but ordained.

I've always been so certain of my calling, to be in the business of loving people. I do that through youth work, advising on it at the moment, but over the last 10/12 years I've always done the same sort of thing to the same end. But what do I do after I've done this? The question looms...a person in some authority in the Anglican Church, who shall remain nameless, asked me the same thing last time I saw him...and my answer is that is a question for 'me' at the moment...the point at which is becomes a question for others is when I start to look for agreement for others in my assessment of calling i.e. in interview or in taking the next step in my career/training...or maybe in some other selection process....?!

I'll be honest - youth workers becoming priests seems to me to come out of fear - the fear of what next, "how can I be taken seriously?" almost like an insurance policy for when you can't wear a hoodie anymore. I've joked with Andy P about wearing black next week at the service...I'm only half kidding. It's the end of an era - the start of a great new one for Andy which I know will impact and influence me in the way he always has done every since we;ve been working together. Maybe it's a new era for me too, starting to see a possible way that priesthood can be worked out at the edge of the church.