funky doo

I'm done already...

OK, so I'm done with the week...it's been a bit of a shock to the system to return to full pelt life in all it's fullness...only 4th September too, hey ho.

No-one's fault, just a combination of a busy few weeks leading up to the end of August - we didn't really stop between leaving for Soul Survivor on 12th August and getting back from my parents this Tuesday - and September biting me hard on the arse (sorry, hiney for US readers!!) I felt as though I had done quite a lot of prep work and getting ahead during the summer but there were some things still outstanding which I haven't done and that has probable clouded my overall sense of being 'in control'!!

We just got back into decent eating routine on Wednesday - for us, that is having our menu for the week planned out so whoever gets in first can start on dinner and we can see if we're missing anything and need to shop. It makes all the difference to our sense of well being and our budget but it's been hard to do when we've only been here a night or two and then away again. Despite having only 1 evening of work out of the house this week, I feel whacked but have had some early nights to no avail...The weekend beckons and I'm grateful, hoping to be a bit more motivated and with it by Monday.

One thing which I'm hoping might help overall is that we employed a cleaner today - which is something I feel hugely excited about but also monumentally guilty too...but I have to be less hard on myself in this respect. This is our reality - I work full time (plus a bit more), Andy works full time, we have a toddler. Andy Street Pastors, we run the youth at our church, we have family who lives miles away and we have tons of visitors which is what we love as well as a number of other responsibilities and ultimately things to keep this household running are not getting done. Those of you who know us well and have visited our home will know we do not live in squalor; we don't leave the washing up undone (often), we don't (often) have piles of washing all over the landing....generally we keep on top of it all, but that's about it! So, my lovely new cleaner lady Christine is going to take care of the deep clean stuff, like the big bathroom clean, mopping floors and moving furniture to hoover under it - stuff I NEVER do!

I get annoyed at myself for feeling guilty about employing a cleaner, cos I know it doesn't make me a failure- so I went back to the notes I wrote at Soul Survivor at the Women in Leadership seminar. I think sometimes, being a Christian woman can be a very hard place because you have huge expectations of yourself anyway and then there are even more from those 'watching you'. My response to the question "how do you do it?" (i.e. have a full time job, care for M, run a house, maintaining relationships, trying not to get fatter, smiling and being nice and compassionate and forgiving to people!) is to try and brush it off as a silly question "Oh you know, you do what you have to do"...when really I am knackered and feel frustrated and disappointed in myself and don't feel like I do any of it well. When I am also a woman in leadership, working for the Anglican Church, trying to be a role model for others, leading and teaching and trying to live this Kingdom life it can all sometimes become really hard work...it's really pants sometimes. Or is it just me? 

I said I was going to write up the notes from that SS seminar and I will - just not tonight, cos I'm tired. Instead, I'll leave you with some of my favourite pics from the weekend just gone, at home in Surrey with my family, having fun and being silly. I feel more rested from those 5 days than I have done all summer if I'm honest, but it didn't last long :-(

big bedroom project...

As today is Thursday I was scheduled to be at home with M, working around her...However, I got home last night in mighty amounts of pain (which started on my journey home from Southend) and have since then been on strong painkillers. A resurgence of my previous endo issue which is not a surprise but did make today a little hectic. We arranged for M to go to her childminder for an extra day as I wasn't really able to look after myself or her since I was pretty doped, but I did have to be with it and awake between 12 and 4pm for the arrival of an IKEA van!

I was impressed with the service - we initially had a whole day delivry window, which got defined yesterday by text message so we knew it would be between 12 and 4. An hour before they arrived, we got a further phone call to say they'd be an hour so you had a bit of warning and the whole day wasn't wasted. So we have a new sitting room arm chair and all the stuff for our 'big bedroom project' resting for the time being in the garage. May is the month to rip out the current old fashioned fitted wardrobes, strip the flowery border and repaint, recarpet and then build new sliding door wardrobes and generally make it into a proper boudoir bedroom rather than just a dumping ground for clothes and a space to sleep for the minimum time possible!

When we moved in here, 3 years ago in June, we had a short period of time in which to get rid of the chintz, dust, horrible light fittings and brown kitchen. We did all we could before Matilda arrived and what we did was pretty impressive considering I was between 5 and 8 months pregnant during all the painting, stripping, building, installing etc. Our bedroom was the only room we didn't tackle, perhaps because we haven't had as much sleep as we've been used to since M's arrival! But the time has come...so May will be a working month, evenings, weekends and 3 weeks worth of work and roping in friends...shouldn't be too bad! The biggest delay has been the fact that we function as a B&B for many weekends of the year, hosting friends and family and since we'll have to move in to the spare room while work is happening, we had to wait til the diary is clear. Just so you know, if you're thinking of visiting in that time, we're closed!!

So that little bit of excitement wore me out and I went to bed for the afternoon, waking up very hungry but with little inclination to cook as I was still dopey with drugs. We had a take out curry which was nice and minimal effort and I feel a lift in my body and spirit. We've been watching Rachel Allen:Bake as comfort Telly and I have also been online and joined BookArmy to submit my book choices and gain recommendations for future reading, to try and widen my scope. It's a good site and you can share with friends so I will soon!

Have a good weekend whatever you're up to...

haircut

I've always had an irrational fear of the hairdressers...from being a small child, I would lose all colour in my cheeks (with my complexion, that's quite something), sink into the chair and be unable to look at myself or the 'friendly' hairdresser in the mirror. It has haunted me into adulthood. As I near the end of my 20's...I'm pleased to say that I am getting a grip on this phobia and actually enjoying going to have my hair cut, having found a lovely girly called Debbie who doesn't scare me and who has a fine line in head massages when she's conditioned my hair!!

So I'm off today into Maldon to have a trim and a chat and a nice cuppa and generally feel good about myself...Andy bought me some vouchers for a rather posh beauty salon for Christmas which I can use on a vast array of treatments. Decision needs to be made on what to have and get it booked but it's all a bit daunting...whatever happens I know that I won't get the chance to do it this coming week. The Celebration of Youth Ministry has crept up rather quickly (it's next Friday - eek) and I am multi-tasking as I post, putting in an order for Traidcraft goodies to stock the cafe that Andy is running for us!

I like days like today - Andy and I sort of potter around each other, each taking care of Matilda and doing little jobs here and there. Andy is off to the tip with the Christmas tree and a rather embarassingly large box of glass bottles and cans for recycling (we didn't want to put them ALL outside our house for the bin men!) and I'll be off to town shortly and then we have Lewis and Gemma for dinner tonight...it's panning out to be a nice day altogether!

Enjoy your weekends!

welcome newbies!

Been battling with my newsletter...trying to send it via email to save on paper...I hate it when you've just composed something and want to get it sent out and the system (or I) lose it...and then you start again...maddening! It seems to have gone now...here's hoping and praying!

Anyhow,...it's D'day really cos I've included the blog address on the newsletter and on the email it's attached to, to let people know they can partake in my barmy blogging and maybe get some use out of it! It's quite a strange feeling - I didn't know what form this blog/webpage/diary would take and it's gone on many tangents! To now be putting it in the public domain is a scary feeling...but a good one! I hope it'll keep me focused anyway.

So, if you're joining me as a result of the newsletter or email sent out...welcome! Comments and feedback gratefully received and do link me to your blog if you have one!

Going back to last week's items...the kitchen is finished! The installation anyway, we still need tiles and flooring but it looks acey-pacey and I feel very nesty with all my kitchen gadgets to put away and make tidy!

Had a really interesting conversation with the fitter in the middle of the week, cos he asked about the Alpha sticker in my car and in the window. Managed to find out that he had been to church to get his daughter baptised about 4 years ago and whichever church he had attended had run Alpha. His partner didn't want to go along, so he didn't pursue it....but is thinking about it again. I've got him and my Andy connected so there may be possibilities there to connect with our men's group at church...praying...

all sorts

All sorts going on in my life this week...difficult to keep track.

Firstly the kitchen fitters arrived on Monday and are currently busily installing my cherry block laminate worktop...all very exciting. It's looking good and great to have someone else putting it in for us - the kitchen in the last house took months to finish....

Been to see the Big Bishop today - there are 4 Bishops in my Diocese, but only 1 Big one! John Gladwin actually confirmed me, ooooh, about 13 years ago when he was BIshop of Guildford, a fact I don't think he wanted reminding of today! Anyway, me and Andy and Ray went as the Youth Advisory Team to talk through some issues with him and to put ourselves firmly on the radar as the Diocesan Team. It was a good session and as with all such organisations, getting to the top of the Church of England is worthwhile if you can understand the process. Bishop John made it easy and basically said if we need any support, arse kicking or resources, to let him know...so he'll be BCC on every email from now on!!

Pregnancy waddle is now well and truly set in - felt like a complete blimp today walking through Chelsmford and had to move 3 bits of furniture to get into a corner table at Costa Coffee! Have drunk HUGE amounts of hot drinks and other beverages aswell...bladder can't cope!! Baby is starved of room as it tends to inhabit about 60% of my bladder's space, or that's how it feels anyway!

Picked up a copy of Mission Shaped Church from the Resources Centre on my way back to the car...have really got to get some work related reading done to keep in touch with latest thinking and to keep my brain active. Sometimes I feel this job has got so much potential that time to reflect gets pushed out...maybe this book will be one to read in the early hours while breastfeeding...or maybe not! Don't worry, ther'll be no pictures!

lego and laundry...what a day!

I'm lovin the stumblin' today, finding some gems! Really must go and do some work, but hope these are interesting and informative for you!

http://www.thebricktestament.com/ - great Bible stories retold using Lego - genius!

http://www.howtofoldashirt.net/ - saw this first on Anthea Turner - Perfect Houswife, but this amazing folding technique really works! It's in Japanese or something, but it's all in the wrist action!

rodnik, blood rellies and baby eco warriors

It's been a while and I'm sorry...

the house is ours, its very cool and from last Saturday until next Thursday, we have a full house of people staying, all of whom say that the house is very cool also!

Couple of interesting tit bits from the last couple of weeks...Andy's bessie mate Richard has blagged a monthly column in the Financial Times, all around the start up of his fashion business - www.rodnik.co.uk (Go to FT site and type in 'From scarf to finish', and this weekend's article should come up) It's an amusing read, especially considering prior to graduating, Rich didn't have the first clue about fashion or business, let alone anything else! He's getting married next weekend, to lovely Tash.

One of our visitors this past weekend was a distant relative from Canada who, I think, is my 4th cousin (he's my grandma's cousins son's son...). He's been at a conference in Oxford about medical ethics and presented a paper there:
http://www.inter-disciplinary.net/mso/hid/hid5/harfield%20paper.pdf

It's been really fascinating to meet family members, who are from a different continent, different culture, different life experience, faith experience, etc. but yet I share the same blood and genetic history with them. We have agreed to keep in touch and to further this building of bridges, so hope to see more of both Timothy and Dawn, especially if they come to the UK to do their PhD's.

Website of the day...www.littlegreenradicals.co.uk - clothing for 'rambunctious little eco-warriors'. My favourites are a playsuit with the slogan 'Wind Farm'!

NFA

In my previous line of work, NFA was a frequent shortcut - No Fixed Abode. I just feel I need to acknowledge the unbelievable awfulness of being a nomad - and that just having somewhere to lay your head is not the same as having a home. I'm at my parents at the moment - Andy's away and I needed a break, but even here, I'm still NFA! It's weird, to some extent, I've always felt that home is where Andy is and that is true but its also a state of mind and my mind is not settled and has no possibility of being settled yet, at least for another week....but the contracts are signed and go back to the solicitor tomorrow....so my rant on Friday did pay off...!

Have had an amusing incident today, details of which I'll probably reflect on more later.

The gist is this - Old people don't get the concept of 'travelling', backpacking, whatever you call it. The thought of not booking somewhere to stay, not having an itinerary is beyond them. Not sure when you get too old to deal with that concept - my dad (56 this year) is off on Wednesday around County Antrim (N.Ireland) on a bike and has no idea where he'll stay each night, but he's excited about it! My grandparents on the other hand, cannot grasp the concept that some other visiting family from Canada may (or may not) come and stay with us and may (or may not) use the train...its beyond them. I'm really hoping that it's not a grandparent thing - otherwise come December and the birth of Smiffy, my dad is going to be into coach trips and package holidays!God help us!

dead woman's house

Will someone please remind me next time we suggest we 'might move' that at this precise moment in time, I want to be buried in the backyard of 63 Coopers Avenue. How long does it take for a house, which no one is living in ('cos she's dead)to be sold to 2 people who don't have anything to sell at all. We don't have anything to sell for pity's sake! Aaarrrggghhh!
We have the dopiest solicitor in the world who couldn't even remember on Wednesday whether she had sent out our contracts or not. She has never ONCE rung us back when either of us has left her a message. All we need to do is sign the contracts and we can have the house, the money is there, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM!

In a bid to make myself happier...these are things that will make it worthwhile...I can't wait to move into this house and unpack my kitchen, it will be so good to cook my own meals, to fill my own fridge and to eat what I want when I want. I am also excited about having a garden!

There, feel a bit better. Might have to go and get some Haribo just to complete things!