funky doo

I'm the Mummy!

I had a proper taste today of going back to work - Matilda was at a childminder all day and I was driving, meeting and working...very weird. I don't think I had any concept when I was pregnant of what it would be like to actually give my child over to someone else to look after. However much I know that Yoriko, our childminder, is brilliant and will take as good care of Tilly as she would her own children, she's still not as good as me....not being arrogant, but I'm the mummy!I blithely said 'oh we're getting a childminder' when people asked me about going back to work, but it seems a massive thing now!! However, it has gone really well and although I was a bit upset as I left today, I was relieved that Matilda seemed unperturbed by my departure...all the experts say that this is a good time to get babies used to different carers as they are not yet aware of your lack of presence in the same way as they will be at, say, 9 months.
So, back to work means being organised - planning meals, having a system at night for getting everything ready and buying a white board for my office (guess which the OCD bit of me is most excited about!!)
The Easter holidays begin tomorrow so Andy becomes main carer for 2 weeks and gets to be house husband. He's very excited and already making plans for walks to the park to get Matilda her fresh air and taking his Top Gear magazine to read on the bench! I haven't told him about the weird 'baby time vacuum' that sucks all your minutes away so you apparently get nothing done...what's that all about?!!
Having said we have a new organizational plan in force, I'd better get on with it...ta ta!

a full head

I have a full head...fluffy cotton wool head with too much going on and not enough being achieved to lessen the fullness! Aaaah!
Let me write a list, in no particular order:
article on Harriet Tubman (to be finished),
house a mess (to be tidied),
office to revert back to working space from personal clutter space (likely to take forever),
matilda to be fed, changed and loved (not a problem),
food to be bought (I hate Tesco's with a baby!)
money to be sorted (I don't have any)
packing to be done (going to see London Community Gospel Choir tomorrow in Guildford with my parents)(packing is no longer a 10 minute job, 5 minutes before you should leave. Matilda has a lot of stuff!)
people to meet (donna at 2pm at Maldon Deli...)
and a lot of other silly things which are annoying me and causing the clutter brain to be a bit painful.

On the plus side - I did buy a rather wonderful red and white spotty dress for my friend Megan who is going to be 4 on Sunday, it's really lovely and kinda Audrey Hepburn in style, which I always approve of. I am also going to be a Best Woman to Natalie, who is getting married to my friend Baggy in September. It's all rather an astonishing story and one which may bore/freak some people if I was to write it on here - if you want the first hand, exclusive story, email me off blog! Being a Best Woman, from what I can work out, means I am general dogsbody but I get to make a speech which is always something I'm happy to do!

I am enjoying my new addiction to Facebook, a little online community of people who connect to each other in various ways, by poking or writing on each other's walls...it's difficult to explain, take a look.

Better start going through my list...Happy Friday!

conjunctivitis

woke up this morning and couldn't open my left eye...gummy and sore
got a dr appointment and had some fantastic orange dye poured onto my eyeball - I now look like something out of a horror movie cos it's all over my eye socket! Didn't realize that til after I got home, no wonder the pharmacist was looking at me funny!
It's amazed me how a tiny amount of cream medicine in my eye can affect my vision so much - the outer edges of my vision are all blurred and what I can see seems to be milkier. Such a small organ, when it's not 100% has such an affect and I've felt quite agrophobic in a weird way...not wanting to go out cos I don't feel entirely in control of my surroundings or movement.
I'm going back to work on Monday - just on a part time, admin basis for a month and then full time after Easter. It coincides with a meeting with Archbishop Rowan at Lambeth next week to discuss the visit of loads of young people from 7 dioceses who are descending on the Palace in May. Since I'm going on the visit itself, I also have to attend a preparation day for youth advisers...should be interesting. Might ask him if he's a Druid or not!
So anyway, healthier bank balance here I come!

9 days over

Not writing much today - am 9 days overdue! Booked for an induction tomorrow which I am not looking forward to, but want this baby out! Have to go to another hospital for that which is a shame and am still hoping that I will be able to 'do it myself' and be at St Peter's Birthing unit.

Off to walk the streets now, get gravity doing it's thing and then going for a curry later...hope it works!

late, late for a very important date!

My baby's late - very suspicious for a Hodson/Smith offspring! Oh well, keeping positive and busy and this little pic summed up how I feel...

D Day

Well, the day dawned this morning as my DUE DATE - and yes I saw the dawn, having been wide awake since 4am...bladder the size of a 5p!

It's a strange feeling, getting finally to this day, plucked almost out of this air which has hung over us for 40 weeks nearly. Andy commented this morning that 40 weeks is actually a very long time and it feels like it today. There's nothing magical about 2nd December (or indeed 5th December as the alternative due date I have...ho hum!) but it has almost been tatooed on our psyche, everything time wise hangs on it and a sense that it's all downhill from now on. 10 days from now, we will have a baby, or at least be just hours from being parents.

So, today we've tried to make the most of our possible last weekend as 'just us' - Andy got up with me at about 6.30am (earlier than in the week which slightly annoyed him!), we had brekkie and then went back to bed for a bit - snoozed til 9.30am. We then got the barrage of phonecalls checking I was OK - don't worry people, we will tell you when baby arrives!!
We headed into Maldon and had our customary wander, which we've really enjoyed over the last few weekends and plan to continue with buggy and baby in due course. Had a coffee at Maldon Deli, ordered a ham and some cheeses for Christmas and bought a bottle of port as my post birth treat!Did a little more Christmas shopping and then Andy got very excited when we took my stash of books back to the library as they do DVD hire for £1.50 per week..he's planning his paternity leave around night feeds and films! Managed to convince him that 2 films was enough for this week as, if he isn't at work then undoubtedly he'll be in the delivery room with me...!

On the subject of Christmas food, was reading this article in the Guardian today about Christmas and commercialisation - and the lack of fasting before feasting. Really got us talking over our cheese on toast and this guy seems to advocate a much more positive way to go against the prevailing focus on materialism by making the most of the 40 days or 24 days leading up to our main feast days...makes them more of a feast in the end...thoughts?

Not much more to tell...trying to keep busy and positive, but just want this baby out....it's very heavy and however tired I am I cannot sleep!
Can't tell you how grateful I am for the plethora of reality TV trash on at the minute - Strictly, I'm a Celebrity, XFactor...brilliant and guilt free at the moment!
Will let you know when something happens....pray hard!

early mornings....too early!

Haven't even got a baby yet and I'm still up at the crack of dawn!! CANNOT get comfortable for longer than about 2 hours at a time and then I need the loo anyway and have to get up!!

Had my baby shower last night, organised by my lovely friend Kath from Church. She is Canadian and absolutely INSISTS that baby showers happen, so in the last year she has organised 4 with another to come in the new year. I told her she should set herself up in business!! Like a wedding planner....but not!

So, people had to guesstimate the circumference of my bump with toilet roll (11 squares of good quality Andrex, in case you wanted to visualise!). We also had to put a nappy on a teddy bear while blindfolded. We played skittles with a variety of baby bottles and soft alphabet squares as bowling balls. We also had to transfer cotton wool balls from one basket to another using a plastic spoon. Not as easy as it sounds, believe me!! Try it sometime! My mum was the champion on that one!!

I also got some really lovely stuff (well, baby bump did!!) including bibs, blankets, clothes, toiletries etc. Lovely evening, thank you to Kath and everyone who came!

So, it's not 4.30am and I'm off to make chutney for Christmas presents!!Woo hoo!

nesting and baking...

Have had a bit of a redesign of the blog today - think it might be some of the nesting instinct coming out!! Been a weird week - never had time off other than when poorly or on holiday so couldn't decide whether to feel guilty or enjoy it or be bored!
Made the Christmas cake yesterday - well started on it and laced it with a good slosh of brandy!Will bake it tomorrow and then add brandy every week...well, when I remember! There might be a little interruption in that time!
Have also made a gingerbread - which Andy today pronounced my 'best ever cake in history'! Considering he pronounced my cheese scones last week 'a bit flat', I think that's quite a compliment!

Had my hair cut too, which was very enjoyable - I used to have a serious phobia of hairdressers and would go white as a sheet and be unable to speak when I was a child and into adulthood. Have found a lovely hairdresser tho, Debbie at Marissa Graysmark in Maldon (bit of a plug) and she has a lovely way with her, which puts me at ease! There, quite an admittance to one of my vulnerabilities!

Finally got round to 'packing the bags' today - most pregnancy mags and guidebooks and other such paranoid publications tell you to pack your bag at 34 weeks - just in case. Well, I don't think I had any time to myself at week 34, the mural on the wall was being done & not finished, neither was the changing station my dad was going to make the following week and the piles of stuff that I should take in (nappies, baby gros, nursing bras, oh joy!) were in a big pile on the landing floor! So, finally today, at nearly 38 weeks, I have a half packed labour bag, a hospital bag for me and baby and a bag for Andy(at the moment, it's got apple juice cartons, some raisins and a packet of tissues in it!!)

We're off out for a curry tonight with 7 other couples from out NCT class - so half thr group will be pregnant!! Can't recommend highly enough these classes - we did 2 Saturdays but they do evenings too and it's so indepth that you do feel much more prepared and confident. Should be interesting seeing the reactions on the faces of the waiters etc as 8 waddling women and their patient men come in for a curry - and as a well know 'starter' for labour they'll probably be concerned it doesn't happen in their restaurant! Wonder if we'd get any vouchers like if my waters broke in M&S? Might find out!!

the countdown

Well, today I start maternity leave...whatever that means?! Well, a bit of a waiting game I think. Will also be skint as only get maternity allowance from the government, so that'll be fun. Suppose it means that pregnant women have to stay indoors and don't cause trouble on the streets, you know, drinking, shopping, waters breaking etc!! No seriously, I am relieved to finish, was feeling very tired by the beginning of last week and I have had an easy pregnancy really, so can't imagine how others feel.

I've got all sorts of little jobs planned - and bigger jobs! There are currently no items of furniture in my lounge, dining room and hall, stairs and landing as we're having carpets put down today! B+Q are also delivering last bits of our kitchen which didn't arrive with the original order - back in early October!

Apart from that, I'll be writing Christmas cards, making Christmas cake and chutney (spend thrift Christmas pressies!), packing labour bag, hospital bag and Andy's labour bag (oh yes, the daddy doesn't miss out!), having my hair cut, having a baby shower thrown for me, seeing my mum next weekend, and waiting, waiting, waiting!

Not sure whether I'll do well with the boredom thing - pottering for a couple of days is fine, but 3-4 weeks? Eeek! Will keep you posted...should help the boredom!